waiting.

We have a rough idea that the service will be about a week and a half so long as the hospital have released Lily by then. It feels like a small slice of forever. Im feeling myself becoming slightly anxious at times, im not sure if its due to the wait until then.

i cant possibly put into words how much i miss our little girl.. how much i want to hold her little hands again. The cold reality is that i never will. All i can do is keep her in my thoughts as a cheeky fairy causing mischief! Her story was cut short so we will write it for her. But still, nothing will heal how much i want my little girl to still be alive. I didnt even realise how much i loved her until i had to think about saying goodbye.

i think my other halfs mom is flying over to attend the service, which is nice  as my immediate family are closer but cant attend.. though we arent even sure if we want it to just be us or not.

i cried earlier and still feel exhausted. But on a positive – no work tomorrow! So at last i can sleep and hope in the dreams i can see our little girl again.

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