First goodbye

​It just hit me that its already been one week since we first thought something had happened to our little light.  On the wednesday morning we had an appointmemt with a consultant that confirmed some concerns we had.. and pretty much tore us apart in the process. I remember asking ‘is there anything we can do?’ A question which must have been terrible for them to have to answer ‘no’. We knew at that point our little one probably wouldnt make it to term, and even if she did it would be unlikely she would live long. What we had no idea about was that this would be the last time we would see and hear her heartbeat. Later that day we decided to search for her using our fetal doppler (which we did everyday), sure we had seen her earlier but we needed cheering up.. i thought she was being her cheeky self and hiding. Life really can be an absolute cunt.


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